I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
