I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
