We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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