am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can't turn off my feet"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
