I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
