We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bring me that man meat
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
