I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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