Little spoons don't ask big questions
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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