I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
