he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
