Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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