Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
