i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
