The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
nutella sex= disaster
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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