I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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