we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The uberlube is also flammable
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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