i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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