Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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