Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
