Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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