Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
