I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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