Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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