It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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