lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
