I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
