Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
