I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
