THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
