YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
