he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
