I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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