so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
