Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
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My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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