it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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