No awkward lesbian experiences without me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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