tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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