we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
