Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
