home. puking in laundry basket.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
its liver damage thursday
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
