You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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