how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
