yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
