Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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