I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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