a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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