this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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