the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
