he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
