My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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