So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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