Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize