Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
