Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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