Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We had to coat check the pizza.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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