Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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