my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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