But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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