It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
