I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
