so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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