I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
