Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
