i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
