We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
