How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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